Porn has hijacked what should be a healthy, real experience of human connection and turned it into this exploitative, distorted thing. I seriously need to vent about how much the porn industry has messed with our understanding of sex and intimacy. Every time some guys talk on internet, their language about sex is so porn-coded.
The way porn distorts our views on sex, consent, and gender dynamics is incredibly harmful. What frustrates me even more is how all discussions around harmful sexual content get boiled down to the idea of two consenting adults, as if consent in a vacuum solves everything. Why are we not even allowed to question the logic behind why someone acting as the dominant in a consensual non-consent (CNC) scenario might be aroused by violence or coercion? Yet, every time we try to address the harmful effects of porn, the conversation gets pushed aside and dismissed as “kink shaming.
We live in a world where we’re constantly conditioned by media, culture, and even porn itself to accept certain things as normal. Just because someone says they consent doesn’t mean it’s healthy or that we shouldn’t question the underlying dynamics. The normalization of harmful content, like rape fantasies disguised as CNC, isn’t just about personal preference, it’s about societal conditioning that needs to be addressed. We have to ask ourselves if it’s okay for people to be conditioned by media to view violence as sexually exciting, and why we aren’t allowed to question this.
Just a note for young women here,
Dear young women, You’re not cool because you take a beating in bed, you’re not sexy for letting him strangle you. You can never sacrifice enough pieces of yourself to win humanity in his eyes. You are not boring or a prude or old-fashioned for not wanting abusive sex or for not wanting your boyfriend to pursue other women. You are not controlling or crazy or stupid for not wanting your partner to jerk off to the violent, videotaped rape of other women. You are not obligated to put up with any of this. Your feelings aren’t wrong and neither are your boundaries. Listen to your intuition. The world is broken, you are not. He is the problem, not you.
What is puritanical about it? I am a sex positive person, I am just not kink-positive.
Consent isn’t enough. Respect should also be mandatory.
Consent has fallen victim to Goodhart’s Law.
Consent is not a get-out-of-jail-free card.
You don’t get free reign to abuse others just because you lured them into signing up for it.
“Can I come over and rape you?”